Please welcome Julie & Matt into the blog design group.  They are the newest recipients of an Elle design.  Go on over and wish them well on their trip to pick up their son Slava!

Slava Update 

I have gotten a few comments here and at Unexpected Miracles for requests for designs.  I apologized if I haven’t gotten back to you.  I am extremely flaky right now and can’t be relied upon for squat.  That being said I do want to look at working on some designs for you guys.  I can’t remember who wants designs.  So here is a lesson in following directions.  To qualify for a design you must complete the following tasks.  (did I mention designs are free?)

1. you must be an adoptive parent or Pre-adoptive parent.  Just because they need some pampering right now.  I’ll get to the rest of you in a while. 

2. email me with your name or "name" and your blog url.  You have to have an existing blog.  The trick is my email address isn’t listed on this site.  (I don’t think, remember I am dumb)  So you have to find it.  Hint: a link to the location is in this post.

3. leave me a comment to make me feel better about myself.

4. your blog must be hosted by blogger or blogsome.  My mental capacity for designing for other hosts is limited.  I am too tired to learn something new right now. 

I want your url because I do go and read everyone’s blogs.  That blog roll over there ———————>  I have read the all the content on each.  Yes, I need more to do with my life, but it is just what makes me a decent designer.  So if you follow all of these simple instructions I will consider you for the next Elle Makeover.  (no you will not be featured in a high fashion magazine with a similiar name, but I will make your blog pretty)

That is how long I have gone without sleeping. Sure I get in the bed and do a little cat napping, but no really good sleep. I like to sleep on my stomach, but my pillow is such that it cranes my neck and starts me on a coughing fit.  I can’t stand it anymore.  I am getting dumber by the minute.

To top it off my major job today was to make all the edits from the staff on the monthly newsletter.  Then it gets sent off to the final proofreader.  I try to give her 2 days for proofing, give myself a few hours to plug in any last minute stuff (of which there not better be any!) , make changes and then I run it.  This is the only publication that I do that I actually run myself.  Well… I go to open my newsletter document and for some reason my computer did not save it.  I had a partially finished one, but not a completed one.  All the work I did last thursday in my sickness was all for not.  I swear to God that I saved it.  I am so diligent about saving my work, because I don’t want this very thing to happen.

So I was at the church until 6:30 tonight completely re-doing all of my work.  I usually leave at 4:30.  When I realized that it was gone all I wanted to do was cry.

There are 2 scenarios that actually could have caused this little mishap.

1) The computer is plotting against me and refused to save my project.  This would of course mean that my computer had a brain and then I would have bigger things to worry about.

2) I did in fact forget to save the document.  While this is a very remote possibility but given my recent state of dumbness it is not out of the question.

3) My computer is just dumb.  The scanner is, so why not the computer too.

Mandy over at Building a Family tagged me.  I figured I would do this meme since I haven’t done one for a while.  Besides, I thought this would be fun.  Here goes.

Five Things:

In My Car -

1. a crushed box of Kleenex that is oddly scented like my Mother’s house.

2. AA batteries in the cup holder, you never know when you might have a AA battery emergency

3. a myriad of cds in my trunk.  I still haven’t found a good deal on an adapter for my iPod.

4. Gorilla grips.  These are the best little invention evah!!  They are L shaped plastic things that velcro to the carpeted mat in my trunk.  Keeps stuff from rolling around.

5. a swiffer duster.  I have an unusually large dash and dusting it can be difficult.  I carry a swiffer to keep the dust down so it lessens the allergy attacks.

My car just isn’t that fun

In my purse-

1. a photo album of Pickle photos.  What a good mommy I am

2. various and assorted bottles of stuff.  I have hairspray, nose spray, eyedrops, and a magic pill bottle.  I am like a walking pharmacy.

3. 4 tubes of lipstick that I never wear

4. receipts.  Lots and lots of receipts.  I don’t have a folding bill section in my wallet so all receipts just get shoved into my purse.  It just creates more stuff for Jimmy Hoffa to hide under.  He lives in my purse you know.

5. My cell phone.  complete with a little pink Korean butterfly cell phone charm.  It is soooo cute!

In my closet -

1. nearly 20 pairs of shoes.  I don’t like to wear shoes, but I love to buy them

2. my crying hockey skates.  they are sad because they haven’t been used in months.  They are secretly saying, "lady, please let me out of here, It’s hot and we like ice."

3. My sweatshirt collection.  I love sweatshirts.  I wear them nearly everyday.  I couldn’t get by without them.  

4. a collection of the cutest little handmade handbags you have ever seen.  I have handbags that are in the shape of a tube, one that looks like a chinese take out containter, little canvas bags and all kinds of others.  I love handbags.  

5. a blue formal dress that makes me look as big as a house.  D took me to see Riverdace at the Queen Elizabeth theater in Vancouver BC one year and I thought it would be fun to dress up.  So I bought this dress and it is not very flattering on me.

In my fridge -

1. cheese curds that expired weeks ago.  I bought them from the grocery here in Tacoma instead of the cheese maker in Seattle.  They weren’t quite the same so I never ate them.

2. 3 jars of Pickles.  I swear it isn’t to remind me of my son!

3. flax seed oil.  I went on a health kick with rice krispy treats once and tried to make healthy ones.  Don’t ever do this.

4. an over abundance of eggs.  I think I have 22 eggs in my fridge.  I bought 18 to color at Easter, but never got around to it.  Then D’s parents brought us eggs before they left for Kanasas.   I really don’t eat that many eggs.

5. more eggs.  jello eggs this time.  D loves those and his parents brought us a bunch, again before going to Kansas.  We are the closest kids to them so when they travel we get the fridge clean out.

In my yard -

1. a toilet.  D replaced the toilet in the extra bathroom and never got around to disposing of the old one.  So it sits in the side yard

2. a greenhouse effect with landscape fabric.  I put down the fabric to kill the weeds in my rose garden, but never could afford the bark to put over it.  So now the fabric is acting like a little greenhouse and the weeds are monsters now!!

3. weeds weeds and more weeds.  I think they are plotting against me.

4. a gorgeous frank lloyd wright garden sprite replica.  She stands about 4′ tall, but is hidden by my Japanese Spirea bushes.  D bought her for me for my birthday a few years ago.

5. a west nile breeding ground.  I have a cool pot in the backyard full of rocks and water with a pump.  The bad news is the pump went bad so now the water is stagnant.  I think I am breeding the west nile virus in my back yard.

I am not thinking I am going to tag anyone on this one.  Most of you are so dang busy I think you would come and egg my house if I did. 

There is all kinds of little stuff about me that never really rate on the meme scales.  It is all an integral part of who I am.  Sure I do some really stupid things on occasion, but who doesn’t?  So I thought I would give you a little insight on what makes me tick.

I hate to wear shoes, but love to buy them.

I get grossed out when I step on stuff.  Like garbage on the sidewalk or cat litter in my bare feet.  ewwwww!!!!!

I love to cook, but hate to cook for myself.  I ate instant mashed potatoes for lunch today and someone is going to have to remind me to eat next week when D goes to Minnesota!

I will not touch raw beef.  Just thinking about it gives me the creeps.  But oddly enough I have tons of photos of a butcher in Russia.

My family may drive me crazy, but I could not live without them.  They have taught me to be honest, punctual, loving, intellegent (but I can’t spell)

I cannot do math in my head.  I don’t even try any more.

I am scared to death of the upcoming 3 months.  I turn 30, celebrate my 10 year wedding anniversary and become a mom all in about 3 months.  That is far too many major life moments that should not be so close together.

I have a dream to someday live in a house on some body of water.  Ocean, lake or river.  Doesn’t matter.

There is more, but I am sure I am putting you to sleep.   

D had to work yesterday and then he decided that after work he would go golfing with a friend.  This left me home alone on a Saturday unsupervised.  I hate being home alone to begin with, but on a Saturday is even worse.  This is usually our day to work in the yard or do random stuff around town.  We typically have lunch out and leave the house for at least an hour.

I figured since I was going to be alone and was tired of doing yard work that I wanted to build something.  We have huge patios on the front and back of our house but little by way of seating.  To tell you how huge they are and the amount of people that come to our house for a gathering; a large table with 2 chairs and a bench plus 4 other patio chairs is not enough.  Plus we got a new table and chairs from my mom for Christmas.  And we whip out the two seater beach chair.  Still not enough space.  We like to throw big parties. 

Anyway… my idea was to make one of those nifty planter box benches.  You know the kind.  A planter box on either end with a bench in the middle.  Simple right?  I get to the local mega home improvements store and they only have 1 of the planter boxes that I need.  Rather than hunt down an under trained monkey to look in the stock room for 30 minutes just to come back and tell me that is the last one, I decided to modify my plan.  I thought I would just build a free standing bench that would be easier to move anyway.  Of course I don’t do math in my head and needed plans for said bench.

Off to the puny book department.  I find a plan that I can work with and draw my own little sketch.  Off to the lumber department.  I hunt through the lumber department looking for the right lumber and pieces that are only 8′ long.  I know that an 8′ piece of lumber will fit into my car.  Remember what kind of car I drive?  A bug.  Yes, I went to buy lumber while driving a bug.

With the lumber found and loaded onto my cart I proceed to the check out, pay the nice lady and make my way to my car.  Across the aisle from me are 2 men loading lumber into the back of a pick-up truck.  I see them kind of snicker as they watch a little woman park a cart full of lumber behind a Volkswagen.  I convert my car into bug-a-truck and proceed to load my lumber.  Two 4x4’s, one 2x6, and four 2x4’s.  Again in the back of a bug.  As I am loading the second 4x4 I go to the passenger side door to ease the wood onto the dash.  I lift the wood up and bump the windshield of my car.  I thought I had bumped the rearview mirror.  I get the lumber situated and look to see that everything is ok.

The genious that I am has now put a huge spider crack in the windshield of my car.  You did read that correctly… I broke my windshield.  I am dumb.

Of course there is nothing I can do so I finish loading the wood and lo and behold it all fits!  With the hatch closed!!  Take that old men who don’t offer to help a woman heft giant 4x4’s into her car!

Needless to say I am irritated about my car, but accidents do happen.  D wasn’t mad at me and that is a good thing.  He is going to make me call the insurance company though.  He knows I hate doing that kind of stuff so I guess that is my punishment for my stupidity.  

My bench did turn out pretty neat though.  I had it all finshed and my mess cleaned up by the time D got home! 

My BIL received an email from someone and it had this link in it.  So we played the "Are You Dumb" game.  Evidently Wayne is Dumb.  Not really, but according to the game he was.  Well I went home and played the game and "I am not dumb."  Again, according to the game.  It turns out that the game is not entirely accurate, because I really am dumb.

You see… yesterday was a beautiful day outside.  So I decided that I was going to go work in the yard.  All. day. long.  Pulling weeds and planting things can be a little strenuous so I put on a tank top.  I made a trip to the local mega home improvement store and on the way noticed that my arm looked a little pink.  I thought it was just from my sunglasses.  Which are not tinted pink by the way.  I got home and continued to work in the yard.

A few hours later.  Yes, I said hours.  I went inside and sat down at the computer.  Wow, my arms felt warm.  I got up and looked in the mirror and holy crap!!!  Let’s just say I am yet again one step closer to skin cancer.  What is better is as I was laying on the couch I thought my socks are kinda hurting my legs.  Did I forget to mention I was wearing short pants and Birkenstocks?  I was.  So there is a spot on my feet and one little section of my legs that is also burned.  I would have posted a photo, but they didn’t turn out well.

I am sooooo dumb. 

I am glad to see so many people have watched and enjoyed my movie!!  I had fun making it.  I did want to go on record with a few things about it.  Yes, I did take all those photos.  I do understand it is odd for someone to take so many photos of toilets and toilet related things, but it was funny.  I only wish I had captured a few photo of some of the other toilets.  I missed my opportunity at the orphanage.  There was no seat on that one, but I did manage to snag some souvenir toilet paper on that one.  I also was pulling out my camera to snap a photo of the squatty potty at the palace in Korea when a lady walked into the washroom.  I didn’t want the Koreans to think less of me for photographing their toilets.

The dinner at the beginning (The hotel Parus) was chicken with pineapple and those are fried bananas on the plate.  That meal was to die for!  

The ettiquette bell is just that.  They are in the washrooms in Korea.  You push the button and it make whoooshing sounds so people don’t hear your potty sounds.  I never actually pushed the button, but Kathou did.  She thought the sound from the button was more embarassing than the actualy potty sounds.

I never did use the auto toilet.  I did carry around a 100 won coin just in case though.  I really wanted to use it, but never had the opportunity.

The Magic Clean 2000 was the toilet in our hotel room.  It had a built in bidet, backside cleaner, dryer (for your bum) and a heated seat.  Fancy!

I have to include that the Coke, Coke, Coke, Coke, Sprite or Coke is a D-ism.  And yes he did take that one photo. 

And yes, that is my hand holding the Starbucks cup and I was the one taking the photo.  Aren’t you just so jealous at my skills!  I know you are.

Next time I will make sure to get a shot of the toilet at the domestic terminal in Khabarovsk.  I hear it is… well interesting. 

I know, I know… I have been absent as of late.  Well that is because it took me until Tuesday night or so to feel somewhat human.  Then the weather was fantastic on Wednesday so I did what any self respecting horticulturalist would to.  I went to commune with the Lord in my garden.  I roped D into helping me on Saturday.

So I have a great travel story for you.  Ok, I have lots of travel stories, but this one is an Elle classic!

One of the nights in Russia we decide to go have dinner with our travelling companions.  We hop on the bus and head to the Hotel Parus.  As memory served this was a great restaurant from last time.  Actually the food was fantastic this time too!  We did have a little incident with Suzanne’s potato thievery, but all was forgiven.  The great part of the story comes when it is time to leave.  As always, I have to use the washroom.  The onsie washroom is located in the lobby area outside of the restaurant.  I go inside and the lock is this funky type of skeleton key.  I turn the key and then turn to do my thing.  I take one look at this toilet and whip out my camera.  Somehow it is the oddest toilet I have ever seen.  It is very high up off the ground, the seat is precariously thin and the flushing mechanism is a very large silver button on the wall.  This toilet is so far off the ground that my feet dangle as I sit.  (TMI, but too bad)

I finish up in the washroom and go to unlock the door.  I turned the key and try the handle.  Still locked.  I turn the key the other way.  Still locked.  I turn and turn and turn this key.  Still locked.  I have successfully locked myself into a bathroom.  My dinner companions hear the rattle of the door and "come to my aid."  I am turning the key and Suzanne is trying the handle.  I am freaking out and am convinced that I am permanently locked in this washroom.  Then Suzanne turns off the light.  Yes, the light switch was on the outside of the washroom.  Just then I give the key one last hard turn and I am free!! 

As only Elle could do, I locked myself in a funky washroom.  Want to see the toilet?  It is only one of many toilet related photos I took, or tried to take.

I can’t tell you how glad I am to be home.  My bed never felt so comfy!  The best part was going into the grocery and being able to read all the packaging and being able to converse with the clerk.  The trip was fun, but of course you can read all about it here.